my unhealthy defense mechanism is to shut down and stop talking if i feel like im being misunderstood or disrespected. i dont like repeating myself and i dont like the feeling like im not being heard

i act like i dont care but i know when people are uncomfortable having me around, i know when they lie, i know when they are faking their vibe, i know when things are about to end. im not naive, i notice every changes. you may not tell me anything, but im good at observing

i drown in my emotions again and again

one of my biggest toxic trait is that when im going through something, i tend to stop talking to everyone until im okay. when im okay, i will start communicating again like nothing happened. its not me being off with you, i just deal things better when im alone

never allow anyone to consume you. if they dont call, go to sleep. if they dont text you, put your phone away and go have a good day. if they are distant and refuse to communicate go do something worth your time. you live for yourself first, everyone else is second

im struggling in silence. im exhausted but im trying. im dying but im surviving. i need someone to talk to but i dont want to tell anyone what im going through. i look strong but my inner is weak. i give advice to people while im waiting for motivation to be given to me. i hate awkward hugs, but i really need them especially in my situation right now. i sleep but my mental is awake. i said im fine but my heart is breaking. i said im okay but my feelings are hurting. i want to talk but i want to keep silent. i dont know what is wrong with me, what am i, who am i. i dont recognize myself anymore.

i feel lost, drained in my thoughts and feelings. im just tired.

i am bad with words
hope you are good
at reading my eyes :)

i dont chase man. but if he is taller than me, kind hearted, soft spoken, love cats, nice with kids, protective, know how to handle my anger issues, polite, respect people, elders, simple and loyal, i wouldnt mind to jog a bit :3

she was the girl who asked everyone if they were okay, when she was the one who was breaking. she is me.

i hate how sometimes i cant find the right words to describe what is going on in my mind