‘it hurts me when i know you love someone else’

you won’t understand because you're not me.

Sometimes, I want to scream and tell the world how not okay I am. I want to say that I'm slowly losing my mind and losing all my hope to live. But instead of doing it, I stayed silent and act as if there is nothing wrong with me.

The truth is, sometimes I just want to cry in front of everyone. I want to tell them that I am slowly giving up and I couldn't help myself from my own thoughts. The voices in my head are getting louder and they are telling me how worthless I am. I need someone to understand what I feel, but how can somebody understand me when I can't even speak about what is happening to me? I can't even speak about my pain.

I'm tired. I used to tell myself that I'm going to be okay soon. But now it feels like I'm losing my sanity. I'm tired of this feeling. I wish I could just forget that I'm hurting.

— Shiori X

I wasn't really feeling myself lately. I felt so empty, and a part of me was losing its sanity. I thought distracting myself is the best way to escape from this feeling, but here I am, losing myself even more every day. I am not alone, right? I am not alone feeling this way. But I wonder what people do when their hearts are feeling empty. I wonder what they do to feel alive.

I wish I could at least try to comfort myself and pretend that I am just having a bad day. I want to convince myself that I am not having a bad life, but this emptiness consumes every piece of me. I hope I could also tell everyone that I'm okay without having a pang of sadness in my chest. I am just really tired of telling people that I'm fine, when the truth is, I'm losing my mind slowly.

No one knows that all this time, I am not okay. But I silently hope that somehow, someone will see it— the tiredness in my eyes and the sadness behind my smiles.

— Shiori X

I miss the old me , happy me :)

I wish I am a robot. no feelings, no sadness, no pain.

they only see my mistakes
but they don't see how tired i am,
they don't see how exhausted i am
they don't see how much unloved i am,
they only see me as failure
that everyone hates,
and that's it.

_ Mauve

the worst part about being strong is nobody knows you're hurting.

I don’t just let go of something or someone just because they weren’t meant for me. I hold on to it for a while until my heart gets tired of waiting, my eyes stop crying; And until I can finally accept that it wasn’t really for me. Like any other, I need time to let go of the things and that person. So, sorry if I still keep on telling the story about it. It still lingers in me. Those what-ifs still haunt me. And I could not help but still crave those things and people I thought were mine to keep.

—Hyera Maze

“that feeling when you're too tired and drained from everything and you don't know what to do anymore but cry.

people know her
as a woman

who's independent,
responsible one

but no one
knows that

she also
gets tired,

she also stays awake
at night to cry,

she also thinks
of giving up,

she also tries
to end her life,

she's strong but
she breaks too

sweetie,

she's just doing it silently.

— Stell

sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to leave.

I've always been the sacrifice—for the greater good of everyone.

Nobody... has ever made me feel that they can give up the whole fvcking world to save me from misery. So, I end up walking away, like a good sacrificial lamb that I should be.

Yet at times, I pray that someone's gonna stop and pull me back to life saying,

"I don't care if the world will vanish just by the mere choice of you trying to live. You've sacrificed enough.

So please, this time...save yourself.

'Cause the world can definitely handle itself without you pulling that heroic stunt that's gonna get you emotionally dèad."
—K. RDV.

I’ve noticed you’re going through some tough times and I want you to know that I’m here for you. You’re incredibly strong, even if it might not feel that way right now.

Remember, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and to take time for yourself. You’re not alone in this journey.

If you need someone to talk to, to sit in silence with, or just need a break from everything, I’m here. Together, we can face these challenges.

Your resilience is inspiring, and I believe brighter days are ahead. Let’s take it one day at a time. ✨

are you guys okay?

hugs🫂

what the worst part of being strong? no one knows you are struggling too :’)

What if,
see that person? That one who looks so detached and mysterious?
Imagine! What if they fall
in love with you?
Then you get to see their smile,
what they look like without their glasses,
and how cute they look
when they're embarrassed –
all these things that no one else gets to see. Just you.
Ah, how sweet! How special! How
selfish.

I'm sorry,
it must have hurt when they didn't
catch you and left you
bleeding and broken beyond repair.
But be bitter not.
Nothing ever comes for free anymore;
You are now only paying the price for
falling and failing to figure out
that you have been
selfishly expecting someone to be
someone that they are not.

The first time I met you,
I started with "what if" too.
But as we got closer, oh my God,
as we got closer,
I started wanting instead:
I want to hold your hand
and feel your pulse,
I want to wake up next to you
every morning,
and every mourning
when I'm broken and falling apart,
I want to be embraced by you
so gently
yet at the same time
so tightly
that it just…
puts me back together.

Hey… I'm done
living my life imagining
what it would be like to
meet someone like you.
You're here...
You are finally here…
Ah... I can now let go of “what ifs”
and start embracing “what is.”

I guess this is the part where I say
I love you --
even though you steal all the blanket,
even though there are days
when you can only love
yourself, and
even though you turned out to be completely
different from what I expected.

Fear not, because this time,
there is no way you can ever let me
down.

Show me a hundred sides of you
that you think will change my mind
and I will show you
a hundred reasons why
I can never love you
less
now that I know you
more.

― suishima, What Is.

Sometimes we don’t want advice or solutions to our problems, we simply need someone to listen without judgment, to be there, to remind us that we aren’t alone, to hold our hands, to make us believe that we will be okay. ❤️